Welcome to the Random Item challenge, orchestrated by Victor Strate! This is a challenge that requires you to write an item named after (and based on) a randomly generated two word phrase.
Here are the rules:
- Only one person per item. No collaborations.
- The work must be entirely original, no referencing tales or other objects to avoid leaning on them as a crutch.
- If you decide at any time that you do not wish to continue the challenge, ask me, and your article will be deleted to save space and confusion. Once you've forfeited, you cannot rejoin.
- Your page and item must be named after and based on your assigned phrase. You cannot change your assigned phrase, and I can't change it for you.
Judgement has been given!
Disqualifications
Now, right off the bat, I have to disqualify Station Soup, Orchestra Bible and Tart Tank for being unfinished. Tart Tank still has a bit of placeholder text and doesn't have enough to it for me to fairly judge it as a full article, Orchestra Bible is obviously just plain unfinished, and Station Soup hasn't even been started yet, so… Yeah. Disqualified.
Pincer Coffin
There's a good concept here, and I really, really want to love this one, but it's really hard to look past the flaws. Pincer Coffin could have greatly benefited from some thorough proofreading and research, especially on parts like Appendix B, where the coffin can't seem to make up it's mind on whether it wants to sound like it lives in England as depicted in the book Dracula, or England in medieval times. Appendix C made the rest of it seem a bit better, but even that had some flaws and couldn't save Pincer Coffin. Sorry, but this one's getting cremated.
Snail Sentry
Snail Sentry has had an odd history. At first, it seemed to be generally disliked by everybody but me. I read it once, gave it my approval, and moved on. But now that I'm coming back and reading it again after all the work that's been done, I don't feel any of it's changes have been for the better. Sure, it's been added to and made more clear, but what seems to be an attempt at humor in one of the Appendices just feels like bland, pointless filler, and none of the grammatical errors that I noticed when I first read it have been changed, as well as the addition of far too many footnotes. Eleven is just too much, Halsey. Sure, I still like it, but it's changed too much, and not enough of it actually helped the article. Snail Sentry's ending up splattered on the pavement.
Winner: Satire Truck
The Satire Truck wins, which is something that I definitely didn't expect. When it was first written, I found it very, very bland, and though little has changed aside from some grammar errors being fixed, an image being added, and a short log being tacked onto the bottom, I kind of like it now. It really doesn't have any flaws or grammar errors, and though it still isn't the most interesting thing in the world, it's still worth a read. Satire Truck gets to drive off into the sunset.
Pages:
Pincer Coffin (rating: 11, author: Agent E)
Satire Truck (rating: 20, author: DrCaduceus)
