It Tingles
rating: +5+x

Does it look like I have much more time? I don't even know myself. They keep pumping so many things in me. At nights, when I'm barely drifting to unconsciousness, thanks to the solitude I've endured I could feel if there's something coming down the tubes and into my veins. When I was just brought in, I could feel the effect of each one, alright. But now, with so much stuff in me, the feelings get too mixed like a swirlie of chemicals. I wished they tried to be careful with combining their dosages because nothing is working. It hurts. It really fucking hurts. The pain is excruciating, night and day.

If it weren't for their treatments, though, I would be at the very least comatose by now from my position alone. You know what they do to prisoners like me? Got an idea what they think's the godforsaken best way to keep me in my cell? Dick, if somebody breaks me out, which, by the way, I really, really hope they do, I don't even think I can walk anymore. They have my legs up to my knees folded behind me, like a vertical rockstar. While they have my back resting on my calves, my arms are way up dangling from hooks above me. I used to be fixed on those hooks. Imagine the day I found myself slipping off 'em and sliding a couple feet down. Not a pretty thing to wake up to. So, yeah, I'm not doing a favor to my circulation or whatever. And my restraints always scratch my skin raw. My nerves are inflamed. It burns, and it really burns.

Note to self: if you want to play as a free agent in the terrorist world, and you plan on making it big on your initial betrayal, never, ever, ever go turncoat first on the Chaos Insurgency. It's bad enough that their ranks are swollen with the craziest, sickest fucking people on the planet, and that their anti-traitor agency thinks that 'compassion' means to injure using a graphing instrument (sweet merciful jesus GOD), but the absolute worst thing about them is that they're FREAKS. They're all MONSTERS in the LITERAL sense of the word, owing to the fact that I've seen and heard things in the other cells. You know that thing about people describing how the tortured could scream and wail like they weren't even human? You know what's worse than that? Hearing someone start screaming like a human and end screaming like something that is abhorrently not so. The people here aren't people at all. They howl. And they howl a lot… It stings.

Sometimes they even join their prisoners screaming, just for the sheer hell of it.

Got a little dilemma to ponder on, for you. If you were in MY fucking shoes, wait, wait, no I was just caught in a little angry moment. I'm sorry, ahem, if you were in my shoes, god, and you know this is a company of killers you've just got your balls caught in, you were put in a dark cell like I am, what do you think's the worse way to end? Here, let me make the choices easier to digest for you. Getting killed normally by dying after you're killed, or getting killed like the p-PIGS…, jesus, uuugh the people I've just told you about who kept screaming like animals JUST, just REALLY like some goddamn swine hours, days after their supposed executions? I make it sound like picking Option A's the more desirable of the two, but Christ, there's no way they're going to get a kick out of you the way you're thinking compared to turning you into an abomination…

… They break your legs, man. They break your arms. They break every single bone, muscle, tissue in your body, like you're just a chunk of meat to be abused. I've seen someone gutted alive. They reached in and took his liver out and shoved it inside his mouth and made him eat it while they keep using their rock-hard bony fingers to crack the guy's teeth. By the time that was done his gums and his intestines looked bloody identical. I threw up four times on my way to this cell. If they won't do it to you, they sure as hell will MAKE you see them doing it to other guys. I can't fathom anyone not breaking down after seeing… agh.

Will they let you touch me? Don't. Just so you now, my knees aren't right. I'm attached to this wall by my wrists, waist and ankles. When my ankle holders suddenly jerked upward - thought I was going to be hoisted upside-down - they must've torn something in my leg. I can feel my kneecaps a bit. Considering I've got enough anaesthesia inside me to kill an elephant, that's a minor blessing. A painful, but welcome blessing. Truth be told, I'm sure I've been dislocated below, but all I feel's an ache.

I never used drugs before, man. Hard to believe considering my background, but I've been clean for all twenty-four years I've been in this world. It's kinda educational to realize you need some serious dope or whatever to get your mind distracted and keep you from just bawling your eyes out from all this. Not anyone's strong enough to endure CI torture. Not anyone human. Remember what I said about some of them screaming like pigs? Sometimes, they stop screaming. But I could still hear them breathe.

Thin walls? Haven't been outside long enough to find out.

They're doing fucked-up experiments like mad scientists on people. Since a lot of us are PNGs in every country on this side of the globe, we don't technically exist anymore. Hey, that's just the price of working off the grid in our industry. Everyone of use expects the worst to happen when we get busted. The Chaos Insurgency begs to redefine what we all thought was 'the worst'. So they'll do anything on us, regardless of protocol. We're the perfect guinea pigs.

Oh, god, here it comes. Today's execution. It's me, by the way. Surprise. They've got something fucking twisted flowing down those tubes. It's not even in me yet but..

DEAR…Fuck…

That hurts…

You ever hear about transhumanism? You know how, in all those video games where there's other races, humans are usually the fragile guys up against the others? You know that show on Discovery that explained that we as a species rose to dominance simply 'cause we had better hands and smarter brains? What if we got even better? Would we become more than human or would we have to change the definition of being a human to suit the superior version? What happens to the rest? What's absolutely strange is that I can't feel anything anymore. It just tingles.

Let me tell you something, Doc. I've just gotten something feeling very new pumped into me. It's either that or everything they've been putting in me since the start's finally coming together. I can feel my bones… do you hear them snap? Ah, fuck… fuck…

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