in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » Black Liquid Mirror
Thanks for the picture, but it dose not fit the description, and i would rather not use an image from the creepy-pasta wiki.
Recent Forum Posts
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » Black Liquid Mirror
Hi, me again.
Why do you all read CI?
I have seen a thread of thought throughout most critics of my work and I think it all comes down as to why we read CI.
I read for the (1) lore of the world, the (2) Implications, the horror of building a street over a swamp burial ground for the chronically undead ((3) humans messing with stuff they don’t understand or don’t even fully know about).
Most stories in the recent past had some type of body-horror attached to them, depictions of cruelty and violent behaviour. These do not speak to me as much they could because they do not directly hit my 3 points of enjoyment. Body-horror, the fear for survival, is not in itself gratifying for me. I am almost unphased by the cruelty itself, but I do get emotional about these articles as the most victims the CI has seem to be there employees. I view the CI lore in a way that suggest it once having a better way of handling things than the foundation, but becoming worse and worse overtime (Watching a once great thing fall has something tragically satisfying to me).
To paraphrase a foundation guide I read a long time ago:
Humanity fears the unknown, but our job is to force the scary stuff under a big spotlight and document the unknown out of it until we put it into a most likely well illuminated box, while keeping it scary.
My way of doing this is to keep the scary stuff just outside of the spotlight. Everything I write is horror, but my figures mostly do not bleed. My stuff is written for readers like me, searching for the same 3 things and there in might lay the biggest error of my writing.
So I ask, Why do you read the stuff from the Chaos Insurgency?
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » Black Liquid Mirror
Now this is interesting. Do you think that the Item the insurgency uses should be applicable? (Like it perfectly fitting the CIs needs)
When you say that it lacks personalty, what would it need for it to show a personalty?
Also, when you say it dose X while doing X, what do you think X is?
Not sure if you read the "When things go quiet" post, so I will ask here again, What do you think is the important part of the anomaly, the part mend to be the "horror-piece"?
All of these questions loop back to the linchpin I build this item around, so if that thing dose not come through than there is the problem and the rest is a result of that, at least I think so.
Please change the URL since it has a colon (:) and it's in a new category. That's why it doesn't show up on the recently created page. You can go to Options, click Rename, and remove the module rate item thing you put in before the name.
No signature defined.
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » Black Liquid Mirror
This item report is almost completely devoid of persoanlity. I suggest rewriting it to be less dry and more applicable to the Insurgency's whims. Also its a Thing that does X that doesnt really entertain me while doing X.
No signature defined.
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » White Noise
Thanks for the feedback! I'll get to work on improving it.
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » White Noise
Hi, there.
Welcome to the CI.
Your article has some problems. (Sorry for the shorter version, original was better.)
First, description.
- I have no idea what this stone looks like (measurements, lasers or camera)
- Why would it be sentient?
- Memetics are Memetics because they transmit via View and sound, your item is not transmitted that way
Second, security.
- Killing people is not ideal, making them into poison producers however is
- Killing people for "unrest" can wipe out a base
- Exposing staff without benefits is wasteful (Civilians)
- Your item sounds more like a Virus or bacteria
- Risking high level staff during deployment
Presentation?
- You url is messed up
I will help you with the thing if you want. Hope that the short version is any good to you.
I have been down voted for a lot less but currently there are not many around. My advice, sandbox it a bit more.
(I wont vote on the item in its current state, for now.)
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » White Noise
I wrote a detailed critic than my browser died during posting.
If you are still there meet me at baseSix.
in discussion Wiki Announcements and Proposals / Announcements » Item Announcements 1: Power Overwhelming!
After you shot me last time…
Black liquid mirror is up.
in discussion General Discussion / Lounge Room » Long Distance Communication
Happy Easter.
If i don’t write a tale about exploding eggs, it might be that something like that exists already.
Mutant rabbits are an old hat too, but i might go the good old resurrection route with this one.
Wasn't the problem with your last hubs that there was just no content to link to?
Teal as it stands right now has (to my knowledge) only 3 relevant pieces on the English side.
Side note: Is there a sandboxed version of the Teal Hub anywhere?
Side to the side note: By the way, as your "review" of my piece is the only thing I am basing this move on, could you please tell me what "It can work" means to you (as it might mean something else to me).
I think I'm also going to take the risk with the Teal Division hub that I want to make.
Well, things are quiet again.
Since it is the only piece I have data on I might launch the "Black liquid mirror".
Not sure how long that thing would stick, as the data I have on it is literally one line that dose not even sound that sure about the quality of the piece.
But when things go quiet…
Meta goes BOOOOM.
Even if the piece burns, it might burn bright enough to wake someone up.
I agree with you that feedback among contributors should be better encouraged. I will be more attentive with giving it to posted and drafted work.
About that help…
My specific problem is that i can not get what i read out of my stories, to be read in the same way by others.
I write horror, but people do not read it as horror. I don't know what i am doing wrong.
Wording? To little detail? To much detail? To little explanation? To much connected things?
I have tried these angles of correction:
Change of wording, addition of details, removal of details, pages/posts dedicated to explaining my work, standalones.
I am missing something.
Something vital and i don't know what it is.
I have written non-CI stories and character-pieces. I have examples for what i have been up to.
most of that is in my current sandbox
http://ci-sandbox.wikidot.com/slow-burn
Jerry is a series of character-pieces
Reaper, Chill and Ghost are standalones where the insurgency is a side-note at most.
Note:
you have to go to the point without many detour
Do you know how to do that without explicitly stating the point?
Thanks for anything you send my way.
EDIT: In case we need to go into a specific piece of my work to keep things on track just tell me which one you are most comfortable with. Fixing EVERYTHING that has gone wrong over my entire writing-history is to much for one thread. That will take a while and loads of feedback.
I have begun to notice that feedback is not among the priorities of the site. Anyway…
I think the best thing is to try to want to write a story or article NO based on the expectations of the Insurgency.
Do not write with the intention of creating a good insurgent publication, just have a GOOD PUBLICATION without more. If it is done with effort and dedication, whoever reads it will notice it.
If what you want is to create a story in which you present your character, try to make it look natural and not immediately as an evil and generic agent or doctor. If it is a self-contained story you have to go to the point without many detours and that the details are, so that you empathize with the character, not only to describe the place where he is and his actions.
I apologize if I hear very unilateral and generalize a lot but from what I have read that seems to be one of the aspects in which more attention should be paid.
I can help you more if you describe more accuracy what you want to change and/or improve with the structure of your stories.
If you want to discuss it more about this you can also send me a private message.
Until next time.
Sooo….
I need some help in getting my points across.
I can silently write up a storm for very long, but to ensure that my vision is visible once i post it i first need to locate the issue.
Is anyone up to help me with that?
I can write more and more, but if i am missing something that is perhaps not even important to me in a story i will never find the missing piece.
I start with a point, than a structure, than details.
My studies of story-structure, storytelling, casual science and philosophy can only get me so far it seems.
I need some help, please?
in discussion General Discussion / Lounge Room » what do you think of my website
in a wierd way, yeah i guess it pretty much is (in it's own way) i didn't even think about the sandbox when i made the site lol. anyways, thanks for the imput.
in discussion General Discussion / Lounge Room » what do you think of my website
Sooooo…. you made the CI sandbox?
I am the first one to congratulate new people to writing something, but i much rather have that in the CI sandbox. I might not be an admin or mod in the box, but the CI sandbox has given me what your site proposes.
I, myself consider offshotsites (of the sandbox), more like extra hurdles i need to monitor for new content. It is kind of a trend for authors to make there own private sandboxes after a while. All that these extra sites accomplish is me not being up-to-date on there work.
What i am seeing you trying to do reminds me of myself a lot. I did something similar as my first SCP.
The idea of a site with full freedom is something i myself have toyed with (but there is a reason why the foundation has a category known as the bender-type of authors).
If you need immediate help with something -> CI sandbox
If you want to read years of unpublished unpolished works -> CI sandbox
If you want people to see it -> CI sandbox
If you want a site that contains a page that is just a one line ramble about something completely unrelated -> CI sandbox EDIT: Someone removed the cuphead thing while i was not looking
It is not the first time the concept has come up. I think someone has tried it before…..
but that thread might be gone by now.
I will keep an eye on your site for a while, see how it goes, but i am pretty much stuck in the sandbox and until my next publishing attempt to the main-site this will most likely stay that way.
in discussion General Discussion / Lounge Room » what do you think of my website
I'm not asking that you join (Though you can if your so inclined) just check it out and tell me what you think (Comments, critisisums etc.) just remember that it's a new website and it's still under construction.
