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Hey, thanks for the feedback it was most helpful. I do like some of your suggestions in regards to adding a separate page explaining the story a little bit (out of universe). In regards to the rest, there was a reason why so many of the details were vague and some of the characters acted in a way not entirely normal. Like I said in my original post on this thread. This is still a first draft and I have still a lot to add. My main idea for the page is that the captain and his men are deliberately set up by a CI member who works for the foundation. The reason for this was because the men saw something that they shouldn't have. The individual setting them up counted on all of them dying but was found out by the CI following the Captain's rescue. Fearing what would happen if the general staff found out that one of the higher-ups was a Foundation turncoat, they are trying desperately to make the event like it never happened. The Captain (unaware of any of this) is left to try and put all of the pieces of the story together whilst at the same time, being stopped at every corner by CI officials. The report is meant to serve as a beginning to a larger story I wish to tell. The report (being written by the CI proper of coarse) tells the events as they were and the report is designed to make the reader scratch their heads at the actions of the characters involved. From there, the readers of the story are supposed to learn along with the captain as his story is told through the form of official forms (not stories mind you, but CI documents). Anyways, as I said before it's a work in progress and I'll be sure to make some changes to the TKIA-882 story before it's posted. Anyways, hope that explains the story a little bit and maybe you can kind of see what I was going for. Anyways, hope that helps. Would love to shat further if you'd like.

:)- Mr. Emperson


Mr. Emperson

Re: An edit to an old idea by empersonemperson, 19 Dec 2018 01:43

From the top:

A raid in 2001 produces rumours later that things are not well guarded. The Foundation is not exactly known to leave there stuff unguarded.

This whole issue can be fixed quit easily i believe. My purposed solution: Make the re-taking of Site-12 into something that would be utterly reckless if the Foundation attempted it. My thoughts were on an anomaly that somehow ties the building and its surroundings to something important, like an earthquake fault line or the collective memories of the population of a mayor city. Maybe it is a chemical (of the reality eating verity) or some very high "unknown" type of radiation.

Stealth with helicopter. Even with the Foundation on low alert, which let's face it, the lowest of alert they can be is medium alert, they WILL notice a flying object above there base.

I know the spawn point is important so my solution to this would be to go in there much more silent, like teleportation canon silent (you can keep the helicopter, aiming something onto a roof is very difficult from ground level, just make sure you are somewhere out of range from Foundation sensors or at a place where it would not be to difficult to see the helicopter as a civilian vehicle).

SCP captured with minimal effort

Its a TRAP, and everyone in a strike team should know that.
To quote one of my works:"In our line of work you ether learn that unexpected and normal don't mix or you die."

final death toll to eight insurgency personnel and seven Foundation

loping back to problem one. Can be greatly expended with solution 1, since there is a reason the Foundation would not take back there site by force.

The "someone wanted to screw us over" bit.

This can actually be a very powerful mystery and personal drive. To implement this cut 5 minutes of the interview right after he said that bit, out of the transcript.

Put the missing part at the end of the report with the captain explaining that it was something his team had, something that was big enough to get them out of almost every pinch.
Maybe a stolen item, some incriminating data on there bosses, or something else entirely.
Therefore the interview needed to be interrupted, as the person concerned with this information needed to have the first talk with the captain, to make sure he had nothing to do with his teams "backup plan".
They can't let the captain go on record with what ever his team had. In the CI things are easier for the ones wanting to hide things if those things are not on record.
If someone, in the CI, wanted to screw over the captain, they would not let him back into active duty (he would probably die in an "Escape attempt" or some unfortunate "food poisoning").

Not sure how much of this is useful to you, but when i ask for feedback something like this would be the kind of feedback i would be looking for.

By now you know me. I am a bit special when it comes to my way of enjoying this sites content.

Also a little idea. Could you write up something that reveals all hidden information, the stuff the official CI can't know because the knowledge is from the real author?
For an example see my notes to "Gas Mask Pirates (Event 8990)" (there is (almost) no way someone in universe will ever know that information, but it might be useful to a reader for understanding the intention of the piece).

The CI dose not need to know everything (and it would make only minimal sense if they even had the means to know. Information gets lost, Who knows what happened in just another night almost 100 years ago?), but an author should know everything about his piece and so should the people giving feedback, that try to contribute to it.

Hey :)

Sooooo… This was an old project of mine (started back in 2017) and I recently got around to editing it. The project I submit for the critiquing of the Insurgency… TKIA-882. I would like everyone's opinion of what I have so far as I still plan on adding more in the near future. Any ideas or suggestions of what you think I could add to the story is also welcome.

Thanks, Mr. Emperson

PLEASE NOTE: this is a first draft, I would like to get feedback in order to improve the article and do have plans to add more to it, thanks :).

P.S. Please ignore the "Document Notice" at the top of it, that isn't part of the story and has to do with another idea.


Mr. Emperson

An edit to an old idea by empersonemperson, 18 Dec 2018 16:15

Thanks for the upvote, Baronjoe.

I could not make out what you edited with the page.
Is there an issue that needs fixing (i would do it immediately, but i cant see what you were trying to fix)?

by Meta WonderratMeta Wonderrat, 06 Dec 2018 17:17

i agree with your first idea. Perhaps some sandbox work is in order so that we can come up with some potential designs for how this page would look.


Mr. Emperson

Re: creating a "log" by empersonemperson, 05 Dec 2018 21:16

I wound need to make an inventory compatibility check.

I have concepts that are 2 lines and ones you could call mini-tales.
Please check the following 4 items for compatibility, from shortest concept to longest.

This leads us to the next question: Are these tale-like concepts what we really want to go for?
My list has the idea that all items on there would actually have to be able to be turned into full items (for an example see "Sour Wine" (Sandbox, with concept / main-site finished article))

If we are going for a "List of rejected anomalies" we could not use my concepts as it is highly unlikely to turn "rejected" items into "approved" items.
For such a list i would suggest to write a short concept like description from items that were deleted or the author dose not belief that he/she could deliver on the concept. Someone might be able to deliver a better product from the same concept (or at the very least get a chuckle out of it).
Such a list would need to not invoke the Image of "here are the failures", but an image of, "look, even if you have not made it big, your work is not wiped from existent as if it had never existed.

In a way the thread of deleted items or tales dose this job, but from these notes you only get a name and not the concept. This might be fixable with a shift in those lists format thou.

Re: creating a "log" by Meta WonderratMeta Wonderrat, 05 Dec 2018 16:15

I love that idea. I think that we should go through with creating something like that. Any help I can give, I would be glad too.


Mr. Emperson

Re: creating a "log" by empersonemperson, 05 Dec 2018 05:17

I was playing with a similar idea since my current process is to make a tale-like description of an item before i flesh it out.
I would not go at the concept with the idea of "things not worth a full entry".
The thing i had in mind goes back to a very early stage of the CI. During these days, one would just drop an item name into the arsenal and leave someone else to write it.

Now Imagen that, but instead of dropping things into the arsenal, dropping it into separate log.
If this log were to be using a table of content, like this, the one dropping the name could leave the foundation of there idea there, under there item name.

I belief that the first idea of the CI did not take off back than since no one wanted to write things with just a name given.

With a log like i had imagined that problem would disappear since even if no one would want to pick up the item, there would still be something to read about it.
The log would become more of a "List of ongoing item appraisal."

Re: creating a "log" by Meta WonderratMeta Wonderrat, 05 Dec 2018 04:40

I said it and i will say it again: Welcome Back.

For that idea of not finishing projects, i recommand a sandbox (with lots of tabs).
Also i would suggest to always have more than one iron in the fire, so that once you lose interest in one project, the next one is already set up, ready to go.

I have so much iron in the fire that it is more iron than fire (even with my considerable amount of fire).

Re: Guess Who's Back? by Meta WonderratMeta Wonderrat, 05 Dec 2018 04:27

sorry if this is confusing to anyone. I'm tired as all hell right now so my spelling/grammar/basic conversational skills aren't exactly on point right now.


Mr. Emperson

Re: creating a "log" by empersonemperson, 04 Dec 2018 19:07

Oh and I'm not going to be like the person I was before. I'm not just going to start projects and leave them to the birds when I stop working on them. I'm done being unprofessional and I'm gping to prove it to y'all!


Mr. Emperson

Re: Guess Who's Back? by empersonemperson, 04 Dec 2018 19:05

So… I know that we have tried not to act as an exact copy of the Foundation, but there are somethings that can't be ignored. One of these is the fact that there is a lot less items in our "Item Arsenal" then in the Foundation's SCP pages. Be that as it may, I believe that one thing that would be beneficial to the site for use to add would be a page similar to the Log of Anomalous Items. Here, authors can add objects that the Insurgency would contain that would be undeserving of their own dedicated pages or that aren't interesting enough to warrant a wiki entry. Obviously, we wouldn't copy the Foundation page point for point. We would copy the basic concept but add our own "Insurgency" style to it. What do you guys think, should we do it and if we did, how do you think it would be styled?


Mr. Emperson

creating a "log" by empersonemperson, 04 Dec 2018 19:01

On the chance off being late… the Halloween tale is up (Since Oct. 31th).
Candles on Asphalt may they burn in this time of darkness.

Sour Wine
This is a metaphor. Let us see who gets the reference and who has anxiety over wasted [REDACTED].

I think this is just what we need right now.

Sour Wine is almost ready.
Ignore the concept at the top and go straight to the item. The only part i am not sure about is the placing of the Immediate recall.
I Imagen the upper recall as something added after the IMMEDIATE RECALL as to prevent operatives looking up the item from still trying to use it as they have done for the last Year and a half.
This part is the last thing unclear about the item so in case i get response i will try to work the suggestion in, otherwise i set the timer for release.

Currently i am leaning towards removing the upper part and moving the IMMEDIATE thing up into usage.

Hi there,
Welcome to the Insurgency.

Not sure if you are aware of this, but the Insurgency has used IRC for there chat needs for a long time.
That channel died down pretty much by now. The problem is that we all life in different time zones.
Getting people together in a chat has been quite the hassle.

So if you want to reach people, posting in the forums is your best bet.
As for me, when during forum chat it is established that both members are active at the same time I move the conversation to IRC. A similar approach might work for you.

Also in your discord you say something about "hating the Foundation". While this is true in-universe it is not the case out-of-universe. I'd like you to point that out in the "about page" of your discord, just to avoid confusion.

6 days, no change, no improvement. -1

Re: The current state by Meta WonderratMeta Wonderrat, 16 Nov 2018 18:04

This is defiantly not finished, I would advise you to relocated into the sandbox before posting to the main side.

The current state by Meta WonderratMeta Wonderrat, 10 Nov 2018 12:19

An observation I made while reading through the last posts of some of the people who leaved has shown me a pattern and I think this is where to share this observation.
These posts in particular:

Dr. Hockenberry
Agent E

The Insurgency is a construct that has lingered on the edge of collapse since its very beginning (fitting for a small organisation that fights against bigger players in a losing battle), but something keeps most people here way after they have made there last tale or Item public on the main site.

My views on content quality management are known by now (if not the post above will help).

I think the Insurgency has a problem because it tried to be the Foundation, a community of mostly readers and only a few writers. When readers are your target audience good content becomes a lifeblood of your community. This is what made the Foundation into a fortress of quality content not easily pierced by new writers who compete in the same arena as writers with years of experience.

The realisation that i had was that most of our ranks are ether completely silent (a very large part) or authors.
If the Insurgency target audience are writers, than trying to get rid of there contributions just drives them away.

Everyone who has ever taken up the pen in the name of the Insurgency infused something of themself into this world. This is what binds members and makes the audience happy.

Not everything will be gold at first, but given enough attention it might turn into gold.
For this to be true we need the author to be willing to work on there works even after they are downvoted or deleted.

Write a Sandbox page today, a piece of you, save from deletion, will remain with the Insurgency and always be your foot in the door for your return.
Even if you just return for a few minutes, as long as there is sandbox work to be written and read, you will know where you made a mark on the history of the Insurgency.

Yes I can. I can find it by going straight through to form. It does not appear In the recent post page which made me think it was missing. My mistake.

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