Touched some topics here that I was told are kinda difficult to execute properly, such as Haos. Hermes, who has lost his power do to a mistake he made in ancient times, is attempting to retrieve his source of power, the Staff of Hermes. Unfortunately, Haos, who at this time is working for the Foundation, makes an unexpected appearance, seeking the power of the Staff for himself. Because of the mistake Hermes had made in past times, interaction with mortals has been deemed illegal among the gods, therefore Hermes must remain hidden as he attempts to retrieve his godly powers. Hope you all like this.
I'm impressed with the idea that the leader of the Chaos Insurgency takes an active part in important operations (it somehow radiates the very ruthlessness the CI should really be written with). But… the story is boring. and short. It's a Cut-and-dry story of Hermes watching helplessly as Haos and co. steal his favorite thing. It either needs to be longer or it needs more ideas. No vote.
This piece is a part of my operation hermes, if you dont mind i would change the ending a bit,
hermes going full antic god on there ass and only haos making it out there using the staff.
Hermes godly punishment is dealed when the gods dont get him out of Bathtub-05 and he is sucked dray by the very mortals and machienes he hates so much, kind of like the punishment prometheus got for stealing fire.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
Sorry, but I don't exactly understand what it is that you want me to change, Meta.
Hermes godly punishment is dealed when the gods dont get him out of Bathtub-05 and he is sucked dray by the very mortals and machienes he hates so much, kind of like the punishment prometheus got for stealing fire.
I assume you're referring to your "Red Mercury" Item. Is he being captured and being placed within Bathtub-05, where his powers are drained from him by the Insurgency? I'd like to see more on that draft of yours before I consider any major edits (which my story needs anyway). I don't exactly understand what it is that the mercury actually does. I also feel that if the blood itself has no serviceable function, I feel that it should be a supplementary page or an addendum to the Staff of Hermes page, not an Item itself.
Alright, I like the idea and concept. Writing is okay. I know I can't wholly support this canon-wise, but I enjoy it.
Edit: I'm also pleased that there is some shift in view from Haos as the CI Wiki equivalent to the Administrator, who is widely considered a sedentary and senile man, to an active agent that participates with missions. This has been part of my headcanon I've planned to tackle someday, and this story fits in with it.
Send Message | Know that my bloodstained palms will only ever care for a greater plan.