I reccomend capitalizing "Item" to distinguish from the "items" it vomits, or refrain from using the term altogether.
Overall an interesting anomaly, though I feel it relies heavily on the randomness of the output, which underdelivers in my oppinion. The objects all seem rather generic. Where are the glowplugs, Dutch-Armenian flashcards, Sailmaker's gloves, Ghungroos and a specimen of Veprecula gracilispira? I feel like your selections are things you could actually want in your inventory in a game, nothing truly random picked from the wide variety of swallowable objects.
As for plot/lore: Why are we melting down the keys? I'd try to figure out what they're good for first.
Also, he's literally on an IV drip (though depending on the frequency of "regular", he could easily survive on soup, purée, etc.) so why the precautions? If somebody bedridden poses a physical threat to you, the Insurgency is probably the wrong place to be in.
Eschew elucidation, espouse obfuscation.