Hello everyone, this is my first participation for the forum, I hope I haven't made too many mistakes or others because writing in English is a little new for me. But I hope you'll enjoy this rather modest little piece of writing.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
There are a few things i would like to address.
The first only indirectly corresponds to the piece itself. It is the way it was written.
Please use the preview function and not "save and continue", it leads to this page flooding (and i kind of need that page to keep track of everyone).
Now on to the actual anomaly.
The first thing i would like to address is the repeating of the title. When referring to the "Painter of your death" you write out the whole title, which gets distracting. I think "the painter" would suffice.
During the article you switch between "him"(the painter) and "her" (the person). This has the effect that i thought you had retroactively changed the gender of your creation (which was not your intention). I don't know whether English has a rule for that but i would use "her" and "she" throughout.
Only then will the painter of your death's true abilities be revealed.
I would cut this sentence completely or remove it with "The anomalous properties of "the painter" activate once…".
The painter of your death's abilities do not allow her to assassinate the target without having without first having contact with her, so she must be part of a military Chaos Insurgency team that will designate the target.
This should be two sentences, one for her ability and one for the way her targets are to be chosen.
We also have a special assets division were she would fit in better than with our normal military ops (look at this to get a better picture of how we integrate those with special talents).
The discovery of the painter of your death was made in England in an abandoned house in the Westminster district.
This should be omitted from "Usage".
There is still more that i wish to address, like the actual procedure necessary to activate her abilities as well as her being a human or artificial, but i am currently short on time, so i will leave it here.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
Now lets continue.
As some of the suggestions above were already implemented i am making this a new post addressing the updated version. The non implemented suggestions from above still stand.
In the profile there is the claim that your painter is 800. This forces a few questions. The most pressing should be the immortality and how she survived a lot of wars (a LOT of wars, including both industrial wars). This goes for the clothes to, since fabric dose not stay preserved for 800 years if worn.
There are also other problems from living this long. This arcs back to the question whether the painter IS human.
You mention "grafted" hands. Are we talking about a full hand transplantation? This is difficult even with today's medical knowledge. This could point to a quite valuable anomaly. Seeing as the transplantation method kept the fin motor skills intact.
The painter of your death takes refuge in a constant silence by saying that she feels soiled by the blood that this woman had shed.
This stile dose not sound like a detached report of events.
""The painter" has, as of now, not revealed this information. The reasons cited for her decision are currently being investigated."
The second paragraph describing the ability itself might has to be rewritten into smaller sentences.
As i read it (this is just how i understand the ability not how i believe it should be written in the actual article):
If the assassination ends positively, The painter of your death. will then have to burn the various sketches, paintings that she could have made during this assassination for a reason still unknown to date she kept the painting of the assassination of the target █████ █████████
This should be two sentences.
"If the assassination is successful, "The painter" will burn the sketches and paintings she produced during the assassination attempt. Whether this behavior is part of the anomaly or a personal preference is still debated. For a currently unknown reason "the painter" kept the painting of the assassination target █████ █████████"
That she kept a painting makes this difficult as the insurgency has to assume that the destruction of the painting is part of the requirements for successful elimination of the target.
The next paragraph should be two. One were her mental condition is described and one were her discovery is described. Also, to keep neutrality i would remove the "us" from that paragraph.
The paragraph about the housing might has to be reworked, but i can currently not accurately pinpoint what is wrong with it. This might have something to do with it.
Agents must be equipped with hypodermic pistols to deal with the many suicide attempts of The painter of your death
We have ways to deal with suicidal personnel if we catch the warning signs.
The interview is fine up unto the last bit. "Taking refuge in silence" is not something we write into official documents.
"The painter ceased communication afterwards."
Hope this helps.
Also, just a tip from someone who had to rewrite and correct his own stuff a lot:
Don't write "new version" somewhere, use version numbers "V0.6", "Ver1.01" and "V2.0".
V0.XX for unfinished works, V1.XX for works almost ready to be published and V2.XX for fundamental changes in cases were the original needed a massive rewrite.
EDIT: At some point you say she is depressed because she failed to kill herself, but this is actually backwards.
Suicide is a symptom, not a cause. A failed attempt might make depressions worse, do to a perceived failure, but this "failure" actually enables better treatment.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
thank you for taking the time to read the report, I have corrected the various errors you have reported and I have finished reviewing the report. The sandbox link is always the same
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
I have read your changes. There are still some phrases i would change.
But i think the most pressing issue is your implementation of my perceived anomalous effect.
(this is just how i understand the ability not how i believe it should be written in the actual article)
The only item i had to implement a list to explain the actual anomaly was "Bloody Wings", but there the anomaly was self-reverential and "confusing" to the point of it being deemed "unreadable". The anomaly you describe here should probably not use a list format. It is basically "Death Note" (not an item, but an anime) with painting instead of writing.
The focus of your article should therefor be on the person and the effects this power has on her.
If you wish i could copy the current version (v0.3 would be appropriate to call it) into one of my Sandboxes and make some edits on that version. If you approve of these edits you could integrate them into your version. I can not create the item you have envisioned. All i can do is create a shadow, an interpretation.
I do not wish to intrude on your creative vision and if this is a "self-insert" (nothing against those, i have one as well) someone else writing about it can feel strange and discomforting to an author.
I once used a seemingly abandoned idea as well as the characters in there which lead to a very defensive reaction from the author who had not touched that idea in a long while.
If you wished for me to just continue the feedback as it has been to this point, i would also do that.
I wait for your decision before i move forward.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
oh I understand better, would you mind helping me a little bit? because I have such a hard time transcribing well in English, so I have a little trouble for my first writing, I hope you don't mind
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
I will try my best.
I have started with the shadow, but i have as of now, not gotten to the hard part of getting that list into a flowing text.
While i work on that, could you provide me with some tales using the characters? I would prefer a tale without the format restraints of an interview or mission log.
If a character is this new it can go in many directions. A person is more than there sickness or there special talents. To quote one of the songs i listen to: "Life is choices, let's start living."
What would interest me in particular is the time after a long streak of "successes". With a 250 to 20 ratio (less than a 10% failure rate) i would assume a lot of high praise from her colleges coming her way, for doing something she sees as wrong.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
I think I'll take care of the report, you already have a lot of jobs and it's selfish of me to add more. I'll take care of my report and propose a finished result
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Thanks. To be honest, i thought you had given up on that project.
I do wish to discourage the thought of a "finished result". Just start with small increments and tell me when v0.3 is ready. I recommend the mindset of "i will add to it today" over the idea to "finish something". One can be as easy as fixing a spelling mistake, the other is as hard as trying to sprint up a mountain.
I have a lot of projects currently, but that dose not mean that i am to busy to help. I just can not sprint up a mountain right now. The key is reachable milestones. If a task is to big, it has to be made smaller. We can not jump hundreds of meters, but we don't have to, as long as there are stairs. A lot smaller, easy tasks to achieve something impossible.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
I had reworked the report on paper, here is version V0.3
Enjoy
http://ci-sandbox.wikidot.com/miranda-room
(Actually, what do I do with the tale ? )
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
You know your characters better than anyone. Your next steps depend on your plan for them.
If you don't feel like continuing on the tale, just start something new. I left some of my works unfinished or just declared them to be finished (for now).
To quote myself from a long time ago: One dose not simply create a mobile task force without a plan.
This tale was made for a specific purpose. It was made to inform other readers about the character. The funny thing with that goal is that, you can make as much or as little as you want, but your tale would always fullfile its purpose, as long as it informed.
Also i will enjoy it, thank you.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
I really enjoyed working on the tale related to the characters, it allowed me to know more about them as well as about myself. I'm not going to leave it aside, would it be possible for example for me to start a kind of small series of tals in connection with the painter and CI ?
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Sure. There is nothing stopping you. I have written tales about Meta for as fare back as "Welcome to the Box" my first sandbox. Once you realize that you don't write for an audience but yourself, you have reached it. The infinite well of creativity. The Meta-Story is long and complicated when observed from outside, but to me it is intuitive. I have build that story.
I have written many stories over the years…
most of them will stay in the sandbox for a long time do to some flaw, but i still read them from time to time. They don't need to be "finished" or "perfect".
To quote myself once again: […] you will hear the ticking, as long as the work that can never be finished is not finished.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
I have only one thing to say: write to please you and let yourself be invaded by your world.
and thank you hehe
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Also, i might read it if you would like me to.
Some authors write differently when they know that someone is reading there stories. I never want to be a burden on the writing process.
I write regardless of audience, even if the result might make me look bad in the long-term. That kind of comes with the genre we chose to write in. The Insurgency is not all sunshine and rainbows (and if it is something is horribly wrong and we should probably duck and cover or run as fast as we can).
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
No worries, I'll do a review of my report. Feel free to tell me if some sentences need to be reworked, I'm still having a little trouble.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
I did a proofreading of the report and I corrected a few things, after that I don't know if everything is well corrected so just a slight proofreading wouldn't be a refusal.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
I have not re-read the entire thing and have focused on the list to text part.
There are a few terms i would use differently, mainly; intended target, basic target, target initiated (it should be initial target), prime target and real target.
To do this, the painter will already have to have some perfect accurate representation of the intended target or the painter needed to have visual contact.
She will make a first sketch of the intended target. Depending on that drawing two cases can then occur possible results may occur at this time than, e Either the sketch is perfectly done accurate and in this case the intended target is chosen and locked in as the base target initiated. Or or if the sketch looks more like another, unrelated person rather than the planned target, that person is locked in as the primary base target instead of the planned intended target.
In either case, sketches of the base target's life will appear in the painter's notebook without anyone having to drawing them, this . These sketches will then allow the painter to select one of her these sketches depicted situations which will then serve as a model for the fatal painting she will make create. During the painting process, if the target is poorly drawn, another person resembling the target may become the real target while potentially having no potential not having any connection to the basic base target or the intended target. In any case, the fatal final table painting will depicts the death of the real target, this . The death will then be reflected in real life, as the real target dies as described depicted in the table fatal painting.
I am still not 100% happy with this, but it should do for now.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
Thanks for your proofreading, I'll maybe review it again too. Do you think that after that, the report can be published?
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
I would have to read it over again, too. There are still some edges i would like to smooth out, but my English is not the best ether.
I would say we improve it until a v0.7 than put the piece out there. There are some stormy times ahead and once ODDC triggers we have a high chance of the return of the administration.
Did you have contact with Phi? Phi is actually a brilliant proofreader and helped to fix some of my works up. Sadly i am a bit slower with implementing suggested fixes, so he might has time for you currently. I will continue to help as best as i can, but when it comes to finishing things, i tend to get slow.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
No problem, I kept smoothing the edges. No unfortunately I have no contact with the person named Phi, too bad.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
phi fehu has never posted anything, just came in one day and started fixes things.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
oh… well, i see. do you think I should contact him by wikidot message?
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Try it. As i said, he is currently helping me fix some of my stuff, but i am a bit slow with the implementation.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
Well, I sent the message now, I'll wait.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Well, I made a little update on the report. This can be considered as a V.04
I added:
- An interview
- Two reports of assassinations
I reread a little and try to smooth the edges, but unfortunately I can't do it too well. End I do as much as I can
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Don't take my word as law, it's my first time dealing with CI drafting,
Just some basic grammatical stuff first of all - I understand that both you and Meta aren't English.
her physical and psychological capacities are deteriorating with each assassination which has made her …
in assassination missions. Since her failed suicide attempt of 12/05/2004, the blunt objects …
for the Chaos Insurrection Insurgency but …
That's all I have for usage, no issues with how it's set out or written. Shall we move on?
measures 1.80 meters tall for with a weight of 68 Kg. The …
drawing, two possible results may occur: than, either the …
base target, or - if the sketch looks more like another unrelated person rather than the planned target - that …
desires for, according to his words, : "to free oneself from cries of pain and death.".
sessions she had with Dr Alma, The painter …
strange accidental deaths. Video recordings found on the last accidental death …
I'm not sure if that CI works like this, but have there been any attempts to explain why or how The painter has the ability to kill people in such a fashion? I don't have any proposals regarding that, just a suggestion.
I haven't read the Appendices in great detail, but they look alright and I don't want to overstep my boundaries for my first post.
Nugget909
Survival, Concealment, Protection, Destruction, Education
Thank you very much for the time you spent rereading to me, about the fact of "how she manages to kill people" I like to be quite ambiguous and let people imagine how she can do that.
Anyway, thank you very much for reading me again.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Grammarly has a serious downsides, specifically that they basically OWN whatever you put through there service.
https://www.grammarly.com/terms#user-content
Last paragraph.
If you are not the customer, you are there product.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
ah… shit, Thank you very much for warning me meta. I'm going to avoid this site a little bit.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Well, I fixed the few mistakes with : http://www.reverso.net/spell-checker/english-spelling-grammar/ It's not the most efficient but it does the job.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Do you think there are boundaries on posting, Nugget?
There is no such thing. Also, welcome back.
Also, good job on the corrections, both of you. I still think i saw some more errors in there while re-reading it, but i don't think that i will be able put these in a comprehensive "Fix ticker" right now.
I just hope that i can stay on top of things, in the near future.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
at least we're not so lonely, there are three of us now ahaha.
I'll do another re-reading tonight, quietly in bed.
kiss kiss
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
I made a version V.06 of the report by taking up some part that meta had done with my report (big thanks to him). I think the report is not yet finished, I would like to review the beginning of the "profile" part in more detail
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Once more my lack of knowledge for CI etiquette may trip me up here, but the entity is often referred to as "Mis Kaitlyn" instead of her title or pronouns like "entity" or "subject".
Not sure if that's a problem in CI writing, just something I noticed.
I'm not much help from here on regarding the character profile, as per my expertise - GOC entity reports - I can help extensively if you need some more science or operation reports, but I'm not much good with building up stories or characters.
Nugget909
Survival, Concealment, Protection, Destruction, Education
In the guide to writing CI reports, we can read the following paragraph
Call an item he/she if it is a human being but keep it professional. However, keep in mind that objects are objects/items while living organisms are subjects.
I have tried to keep a rather professional tone, but I thank you very much for that remark. Any remark is good to take and I'm the kind of person who takes all the criticism that can be made.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Humanization is an important part of the process, but the way the CI is portrayed varies quite a bit. I also think that it should depend on the relationship of the subject or person to the CI how the subject or person is described in there report.
Treatment can change quit drastically depending on whether one "functions" in the roll the insurgency ascribes to them, at least in other works.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
V0.7 is here
I don't think I'm adding any more appendixs, i tried to reread my text and correct myself in some places, but I know very well that there must be a lot of special sentences left (pretty ugly sentences in general).
About the concept of humanization, it's a concept I like to exploit. I like to humanize monsters, predators and other abominations, this has the effect of making the reader and the author more marked.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
I updated my Shadow to the newest version v0.8 and did some smoothing. I got through usages and part of the profile but have not worked further as of now.
Just if you are still interested.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
I'll see about that, thanks a lot for helping me. What do you actually think of the report there?
MiraEDIT 19 h40 : I don't think that putting information between { } is pleasant enough to read, footnotes are more practical because personally I find that it doesn't harm the reading and doesn't interfere with it in any way, no? (I'm not saying it's a bad idea ^^'', I'm just saying I'm not a big fan)
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
That {} system is just there to get the footnotes into the tab and not having them hang under the tab cloud.
I think it is coming along great. I have not gone through the appendixes yet and the smoothing is still in progress. With a bit of luck it is ready in a few days.
You know by now that i am hesitant to finish things, but i think this thing might be finished soon.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
ow oki, Thank you anyway for the time you take to read the report, hoping you will like it.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
The latest version is here : V0.8
I added an appendix and fixed some mistakes with the help of phi fehu and
DimitriTiwatLambda he helped me to add elements and other things, thank you both very much.
I'm not adding anything more, so I think I'll post it soon. Is it possible to know if the report is right for you?
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Finished the Report of the Shadow. Still not 100% clean, but it will get there.
I started with the appendix. Could you tell me what the purpose of each appendix is, specifically? I have read them, but i wish to know what each appendix as a whole is meant to convey. I might be able to clean the appendixes better if i know what each one intents.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
no problem : the first appendixes is a mission report that aims to show first how the operation to save the painter went. But it's also a report that will help me show a potential team for CI: "The Murderous Doves"
the second is an interview about the painter's suicide intentions, it serves to humanize her and show her fragility in the face of something she doesn't accept but is forced to do
the third are assassination files, I found it quite interesting to put on and I tried to add some mysteries around The White Empress for the reader to question and think about.
the fourth is an interview following the failure of the withe empress murder, this is intended to further arouse the reader's curiosity
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Got it. Thanks.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
Question? How much of this information is not already in the article?
All of this dose not mean that you should get rid of these elements, but maybe they should not be part of the main article.
I made a pretty rash decision just now and launched one of my pieces, but i am also currently not in the mindset to work over large addenda (sorry). We should get the painter ready, too.
I am currently not sure if we perhaps have a "User Interface situation" on our hands here. I can also not be certain that i will be able to help you finish this piece. Siting between chairs since the "piece after oddc" has kind of put a huge damper on me. At this point i believe that things are no longer in motion, but also have not calmed down, as if a stormy see had just frozen over.
My solution to this: Make some waves
I believe that this is the fastest way to do it, but of cause i will not force your hand in this matter.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
Meta…. I didn't understand anything at all about what you said….
I really tried to understand, but in the end I don't understand where you want me to go.
Edit 23:02 pm : Okay, I know what you mean… I don't really know what to do, so… I'll see.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Well, I'm sick of it, no matter how many times I try to do something clean and clean following what you said to do meta. I can't do it, I'll try again but if I can't do it I'll just give up this project and my other ideas.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
This is sad to hear. I failed you and i apologize.
The "cleaning" of an article is the most difficult, least creative and least fulfilling part of the creative process. I mistook you sticking with it for this long as a sign that you had the strong believe that your story needed to be told, as best as it could be.
You don't have to give up your ideas. Some ideas need just more time than others. I, to this day, have not given up on any of my ideas. They are still there, waiting to be fixed, cleaned, finished or started.
If you no longer wish to "clean" just leave it for a while. If you no longer wish to write, write about it. Should you wish to take a few steps away from the wiki, that is your call.
I currently have some problems with my internet, so please excuse the late response.
Fighting Monsters and Language since 2016.
No need to apologize, meta, it's mainly me who tends to get discouraged now. It's not your fault at all, it's just that my drugs and a lot of other things tend to make me very tired. I'm not going to give up the project, far from me this idea (I tend to talk too fast) but I'm taking a short break.
edit : It's okay, I took a 30-second break, I feel like I'm on the attack. ahaha
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
V1.0 is ready.
I did a little brushing up on the report (and I have to say, it's actually a part I love). I don't think it's totally good in condition but I'm moving forward gradually (I guess?).
I decided to keep the first interview between Alma and Elisabeth because I found it quite striking because it is clear that Elisabeth is psychologically lost and doesn't know what to do, she is afraid of who she is and what she does.
so there you go, nothing very interesting.
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
And yet it's interesting to me. I'm way too excited to help in the writing process since I've come full circle from writing Hime. Let's get Ms. Elisabeth her job in Special Assets!
Send Message | Know that my bloodstained palms will only ever care for a greater plan.
V1.1 is here, it's just a few small attempts at corrections, if I have to remove or add things don't hesitate to say it
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
Timestamps of this site's articles are inconsistent but I believe that the "13 September 2000" style is the most popular.
There are some grammar and spelling errors but it's mostly okay. You should try to run your draft through Grammarly or another proofreading site.
She doesn't have very unique abilities and her main skill could be more interesting. That said, I like her history and background a lot. It could be made better if she had another, secondary ability that could help her stand out.
All the best!
we can finally consider that this thread must be archived, after 55 messages hehe.
the report is here: http://ci-wiki.wikidot.com/elisabeth-kaitlyn
J'ai deux nouvelles, une mauvaise et une bonne
La mauvaise nouvelle c'est que je ne peux pas forcer les gens à m'accepter ou à m'aimer
La bonne nouvelle c'est que j'en ai rien à foutre
