I hope this is good. I wrote it at like, midnight.
I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER…and then hide until it goes away
Poor Insurgency / Discussion
Forum
» Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions
» Poor Insurgency
This is the discussion related to the wiki page Poor Insurgency.
huh. I wasn't trying to be funny.
I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER…and then hide until it goes away
Well, it is. It has the well-needed sense of jaded frustration that you somehow weaved into a good story.
It has its share of nice phrasing and wording, too. The classic Creed feel.
Send Message | Regeneration's a lottery.
,All we need next is Assassin's Creed
Former CI Wiki Administrator Now just CI Wiki member: | Tuum Est: It's up to you
I claim that. I shall write that. CREED SHALL DISCUSS THE CREED OF ASSASSINS!
I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER…and then hide until it goes away
(account deleted)Creed is gone (waaaah nooooo) In his memory, this to be redeemed. (Not biased, honest) Someone adds a bit of fluff.
| Redeem | Rewrite/Reimagine | Delete | Keep As Is |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
Redeem (took E's vote as a rewrite)
added: agent e, heartful, cdc
I…I actually like the idea of this for some strange reason. It is not well written, but the ending sort of changed everything that made this article suck. I would say a major redeeming.
Agent E | "Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full.” -Leon Trotsky
I know it's been a bit over a year and my writing skill (I hope, at least) has gotten better, but out of curiosity, what do you think made this piece suck?
I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER…and then hide until it goes away
I know I'm not MET staff but I saw this and decided to give it a shot. please give my version a once over and decide if this is a keeper.
the tale redeem is in the collapsible \/
Doctor Creed was standing in a disheveled lab doing his minor duties at the ransacked site. 'The Insurgency is dead, long live the Chaos Insurgency.' he mused to himself. For some reason Creed could not begin to understand, the upstart Haos had kept him not only alive, but in the Insurgency.
Creed discarded the thought that his research was important, he was an administrator for god's sake. He convinced himself that this was that arrogant bastard rubbing it his face. Haos was going to turn the insurgency on its head, make it better than Creed ever had, and then kill him. Creed looked up from his work, 'or not,' he thought, 'like I have any idea what that screwball is thinking.'
It had been a week since Haos had taken control. The winter winds still whipped viciously outside. Creed stayed indoors, and did his best to bribe others into taking most of the duties that involved him going outside. The public anouncement system crackled to life with a start. The cold, calculating voice of Haos spoke. "My friends," Haos began, his Balkan accent clear over the tinny device.
"My friends…" Creed spat, his words dripping with sarcasm and contempt. 'If given the chance', Creed thought, 'I'd strangle that fuck.' Haos continued, "exactly one week ago, the previous leader of the Insurgency stepped down. You have likely seen him cleaning your rooms." Creed stopped his measurement; his test could wait.
"However, it seems that some question my choice. There is one thing that you must understand, the previous leader, he was…" Haos seemed to be searching for a kind way of putting what he had to say. Creed was enraged beyond words.
"Weak. Too much like the damned Foundation that he was from. So, today, we are starting anew. Now, truly, we are free! I have secured many donations from around the world. Whatever you work on, whatever you do, you can do with total freedom! Today, the Insurgency is truly free to do as it will it is true and just chaos! Today, you answer to no superiors, you answer to your own mind! I am simply here to…" Haos paused to search for a phrase "handle the business."
Creed stood up. "Bullshit!" he roared at the speaker. He would be like every Insurgency leader before him, promising freedom but giving none.
Haos continued despite Creed's shouts. "Experiment as you wish, when you hold something that makes SCP-682 look like some plush toy…know that under our previous dictator that would not happen. Know that here, humanity will flourish. What did our old leader do for us? Nothing. What did you do under him? Safe, controlled tests… what a Poor Insurgency. We may as well be the Foundation if you liked the old ways! Never forget your role. Never forget our motto: Progression from chaos…"
Creed and Haos spoke at the same time. One to himself, and the other to all.
"logic from illogic."
Halsey dude once you do Review stuff you're considered Review staff.
Send Message | Regeneration's a lottery.
oh … I thought there was an applications process.
never mind that then. What'd you think of the re-take, keeper or throw out?
No, once you ask to be a part of the review team you become part of the review team. I don't think some random person that decides to randomly give critique once should be a part of the review team :P
And it's review team, not review staff. Let's not mix up terms here.
LilyFlower is cute and amazing <3
what I said,
I know I'm not MET staff
thanks for the clarification though.
So, is it okay? …
Should it be redone? Or just thrown out and someone else can rewrite it…
…
…
…
I come back onto this site as some imp of the perverse…
…
See people applying to rewrite my stories…
…
…
I love your version.
Some minor editing, I would do myself to make it more "my style" of writing, but I love it.
Just saying.
I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER…and then hide until it goes away
Ahright, OA has returned from the char pitch and is positive with the rewrite proposed by Hals. I suppose that means we can officialize this as a confirmed rewrite? It has my approval, to one point that is satisfactory enough.
Send Message | Regeneration's a lottery.
It shall be as you say…
Is this a request or a statement, I'm confused.
I still check on this place from time to time and I just came back to see what had happened, and decided to check up on this story. Well, as it stands, I think I have changed a lot as a writer from the original version of this, though I still think the re-write is a VASTLY better version that what I could have done back then. I've been thinking a lot recently and could be coming back as a regular old member, flexing my writing ability with stories instead of items (because I am crap when it comes to the "science document" style of writing no matter what).
Thanks for keeping this place alive, it's good to see something I worked to create grow.
I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER…and then hide until it goes away
I don't know honestly that much about Mr. CI Wiki's prehistoric days, but having a bit of exchange with Cad about how the site was when he first joined, and digging around the very, very old and poorly-edited Chaos Insurgency Wikia (yes, Wikia!), I've realized:
This is a sparse morsel of closure for Doctor Creed, and I like how the author has witnessed and accepted all these changes (even the flipping Review) that went from Base Four, Jfatum-71 and roleplaying, to a community which by no means challenges the SCP Wiki, but still has some freaking fun.
Plus if it weren't for Doctor Creed, there would be no Mcflurry1. No forgotten Shrek (SHREK) war. No candle wax or Claudine or Cavendish (rip) or Cyto or Cupcake- I think I've said enough. +1
Footnotes
1. Never forget.
I was there, drSteffie. I was there three thousand years ago. I was there the day the strength of Men failed.
I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER…and then hide until it goes away
/forum/t-1050686/poor-insurgency#post-
