Bad Donuts
rating: +2+x

Item: A Box Of One Dozen Dunkin Donuts, missing one donut
Size: Smaller than a breadbox
Type: Mind-Breaker
Usage Precautions: Don't look at it.
Handling Precautions: Wear blinders when transporting the object, for gazing upon it will end your time with the Insurgency.
Location: Out of sight in Zone-77
3949669230_b9ddbc62e2_z.jpg
Image capture of the object, during its discovery

Usage

The item, as it is, contains 11 donuts, out of a twelve donut package. Now, normally this would not be a problem. However, when left in the pathways of enemy agents or targets, they will have one of three, distinct reactions, depending on their sign, the time of day, and whether they were born before or after the first detonation of a nuclear weapon.

  • Reaction One: Subjects will fly into a violent rage, entering a sort of "angered state of consciousness" during which they will demand to know 'who ate the donuts' which lasts until the subject expires.
  • Reaction Two: Subjects will feel intense, crushing disappointment that the box of donuts was not full, and swiftly attempt to end their own lives due to 'not wanting to live in a world without sprinkles'. This state is permanent.
  • Reaction Three: The subject will enter a giddy "Joyful State" and celebrate finding such good donuts. For the rest of their lives, subjects will only wish to discuss, eat, and love donuts. Subjects will express disgust when shown other pastries, such as donut holes, or bagels.

Report

The item itself is a box of one dozen donuts, with one missing. Laboratory analysis has confirmed that at least four of these donuts are glazed. Although they appear to be fresh and edible, it is not been possible to consume them due to the objects effect. It was recovered from a Dunkin Donuts in South Florida, after every patron suddenly become affected, whether or not they had viewed it. After the carnage was covered up, the object was taken, tested, and implemented in the field. So far, it has been useful in several assassinations and coup d'etat attempts, including the Lib[DATA REMOVED]pring.

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